Minnesota Pride

I do not have much Minnesota sports pride. I went to the University of Minnesota, but mainly because I followed Jenny there, and after a combined total of 10 years of college between us as "Golden Gophers", we have attended zero games at the U. I remain a Milwaukee Brewers fan, though I think the Twins are pretty neat. I promised Dad before I died that if I ever started really liking football, I'd be a Packers fan, since they're the most communist professional sports team. I'm happy for people I know when the Vikings win, but still approach football games with the, "I just hope everyone has a good time" mindset. When I'm a fan, I'm a Wisconsin fan all the way, united with my Minnesota compatriots only in our hatred of teams from Chicago.

Still, I had a great chance to show off some Vikings pride the other day, and I just had to take it.

My great friends at Sex is Fun were given the opportunity to review the goodies from Chocolate PartyHats and passed one of those "opportunities" on to me.

And what is a chocolate party hat?

It is made of chocolate, which is where they get that part of the name, and shaped like a hat, which explains that. The "party" is implied because this chocolate hat is made to fit onto the tip of a penis.

We got a Viking helmet (there's also a cowboy hat).

Go Vikings!

One thing became immediately apparent once the helmet was set on the tip of my dick. A camera would be needed for this. There's something special enough about having a helmet on your penis that screams "capture me on film! Share me with the world!" I keep our digital camera charged for just such an occasion (you have no idea how little of an exaggeration that is), so I grabbed it and then got myself comfortable again. Jenny took the camera at first and, placing the helmet carefully on my penis so it balanced well and stood straight (they are made wide enough that ANY penis will be able to fit inside, meaning that MOST penises will struggle to keep it from tipping from one side to another... but I suppose one shouldn't worry about looking silly when one already has an edible accessory on one's junk). Jenny snapped a few quick pictures, posing my penis in various positions (my cock is a total ham for the camera, worse than a formerly-cutest-toddler with a newborn sibling).

Yes, these pictures will be available, but only through a link. All manner of people read this blog, and not all want to see a picture of my dick. But really.. it's just so damn funny looking.

The plan, as laid out on the Party Hat website, is as follows:

You're lying in bed and your lover walks in to see you sporting nothing but a fashionable piece of chocolate. Can you guess what her next response might be? Go ahead. Invite her to take a closer look. That's when the seductive smell of gourmet dark Belgian chocolate takes over. Curiosity will kill that cat, guaranteed! And by then, some of the chocolate will have melted from your body heat. Will she have a taste? Try it, have some fun! You deserve a great laugh.

Yes, you deserve a great laugh, but you will not be the only one laughing. Now, I'm a pretty solid guy, and can handle someone laughing at my penis now and again, but it is generally not the kind of thing that gets me really hot. Also, this is one hell of a lot of "gourmet dark Belgian chocolate." This is more than a normal single serving of chocolate. You shouldn't try to do this full, because you won't be able to eat enough to make it worth while... though... the amount of chocolate does lend itself to the idea of multiple eaters, which is appealing... but then there is the chance of anywhere from 2-4 different girls laughing at how silly your manhood looks. Ouch.

Jenny started with the most obvious pieces, and chomped off the horns of the helmet. She had handed the camera to me, and I did my best to focus on the hat, and not her lips and the cute little freckles on them. Once she had started, there was a few nice hot, playful moments of nibbling, and revealing the tip of my penis, and Jenny swirling her tongue over the tip to clean it of chocolate (it does get a little melty, which is nice, as it chocolate-flavors your whole penis, but is not nice if you think for even a split second that your penis looks kindof like you dipped it in cartoony poop, which would not be good, since, as the website states: The taste will seem to linger for an eternity on the back of your tongue.).

Although we were both giggling profusely, I grew harder as Jenny wrapped her hand around the base of my cock and started to take more of the helmet into her mouth. The more she sucked, the more the helmet began to disintegrate under the warmth of her lips and tongue. She began to take bites (carefully!) from the chocolate, and for a short while, the fun of the helmet became nearly a chore of eating lots and lots of chocolate. I tasted some, and it was surprisingly good, considering it was cock-chocolate.

When the helmet was finally eaten, there was still the matter of the remaining trails of chocolate on my cock. Jenny began to attack them with vigor, taking my cock deep into her mouth, and sucking hard as she pulled her head up. I continued to snap pictures, no longer with the excuse of the helmet, and now focusing specifically on the way Jenny's mouth looked wrapped around me. Jenny did not protest the flashes of the camera, so I persisted, trying different angles, watching through the view-finder as Jenny's lips moved down my cock, as the tip was sucked and licked clean. I stood, and Jenny shifted quickly to to her knees, sitting back against her ankles. I continued to take pictures as her head moved back and forth, her head beneath my cock, taking my balls into her mouth, using her hand to stroke me.

I took turns, watching Jenny perform for me, and watching her through the camera, the video image delayed half a second behind the sensations I was feeling. Jenny licking a line up the front of my shaft. Jenny leaning back against the side of the bed. Jenny's gorgeous cleavage, pushed up in her black bra. Jenny's mischievous smile as she looked up at me, the tip of my cock pointing to the side of her mouth, just above the top of her lip.

I took picture after picture, from every angle my arms could reach, as Jenny sucked and licked and touched me, and finally, as she jacked me off onto her face and chest. The pictures were sexy enough indeed (though the real sexy ones show too much of us to share with you, sorry).

Whether it was the helmet or the camera or some combination of the two, I have to give the Chocolate Party Hat a positive review. I don't know that we'll make chocolate penis-tip hats a regular part of our sexual routine, but it certainly was a nice change of pace for an evening.

Go Vikings!

Now, if only they'd make a chocolate gopher head, we'd really be in business.


The PICTURES ... and before you click on it... really, beware that it's really just, like, four or five pictures of my dick with a hat... I just couldn't resist posting them since it dressed it up and all. Besides, they use such a silly little dildo on the website to model their product.